The big message that you want to get across while teaching emotional regulation is that it is OKAY to FEEL (insert emotion here). It is just NOT okay to act (insert negative behaviour here).

We use lots of social stories/social narratives and role playing to try to explain this.

Remember, there is no documented evidence to support social stories in and of themselves, so be careful when teaching. If your goal is to decrease negative behaviour by using social stories, stop. If your goal is to use social stories as visuals to explain that everyone feels (insert emotion here) sometimes, then that is very different. There is lots of evidence to suggest that using visuals to teach any concept works.

Also, remember to continue to collect data on negative behavior throughout any emotional regulation teaching procedure in order to measure whether your treatment procedure is working.

Here are a few social story examples that we have developed to help our students. Remember, social stories should be individualized to each learner.

Tips for writing social stories

1. Focus on one situation or skill, such as using a issue, wearing appropriate clothes or keeping hands to oneself, per story.

2. Write in first person (from your child’s perspective) using simple and positive language. To increase comprehension, include pictures that illustrate the story’s points and directions.

3. At the beginning, describe the situation from your child’s point of view. Tell exactly what happens, where and when it takes place, who’s there and how your child feels about it. Make sure the statements are judgement-free. For example: During recess, I like to run to the swing and push others off so that I can have a turn all recess long.

4. After describing the situation or behaviour with neutral language, tell how it may impact others emotionally or physically. For example: When I push others off the swing, it makes them feel sad. Sometimes when I push people off, it may hurt them and they will cry. They don’t want to be my friend when I push them off the swing.

5. In the body of the story, give instructions on what your child should do or how they should behave. Make the expectations very clear and realistic. For example: Instead, when I see someone else on the swing, I can stop and keep my hands to myself. I can use my words to say, “Can I have a turn now?” or “Please, that’s my swing.” Then I wait until that person gets off the swing for me to have a turn. If the person does not get off, I can find a teacher and say, “Excuse me, can you tell _____ that I want a turn on the swing now?” Remember to include lots of affirmations such as I can do it! It’s okay to be scared and I’m a kind and smart boy.

6. End with a sentence or two that tells how following the aforementioned instructions will make Mommy and Daddy (or any other important people) happy and proud. For example: When I keep my hands to myself and use my words to ask for a turn, it makes my teachers and my friends very proud of me. The other kids will smile and remember that I am a kind friend.